02
Jan
We can be appreciate and therefore sweet to others if we avoid judging others by their motives. Suppose some one does some good to me. He helps me in my social welfare work. He contribute money for this work. I can do some good to him. He works under me. He desired to get good opinion from me for his work. I at once denigrate him. I dismiss him and his action. I do not appreciate his contribution to the welfare work. I develop a negative attitude to him. I dismiss him as selfish. I fail to have sweet relation with him.
What is important to note in this case, motive apart, is that he has done right action in contribution to my social welfare work. instead of his appeal to my good disposition, he could have as well appealed to my bad disposition. If I am given to drink, he might have pleased me by a gift of a rare drink. In the first case, his action was good and in the second case his action was bad, though the motive in both cases was the same.
we carry a mixed bag of motives. the man who contributes to my social welfare work rather than my love of the bottle, shows that he has some appreciation of the welfare work. he knows both the sides of my character but he appreciates the better side.
The rightness of an action is judged by the consequences it produces. An action is right if its consequences are good, independent of reference to motives. Suppose a man gives millions to the government for raising a building for a hospital with the intention of winning a title from the government. He could have spent this big amount to provide royal reception for the title -conferring authorities. royal reception is non-promotive of good while contributing for the building of a hospital is of great good even though in both cases the motive is same.
Motives need to be ignored when we are to judge the rightness of an action. We must be appreciative of his action and be sweet to him.
In daily life where some one does right to us, we are uncharitable. I hold blood donation camp at my place with the help of the Red cross. A person suspected that I must be getting some money or advantage from the Red Cross. A man given to service of a great cause is accused of some unworthy motives. we attribute selfish motives and become non-appreciative. I should be charitable to others’ motive to build sweet relationships.
some children are not appreciative of their parents giving them birth. They think their birth is due to the parents’ sex satisfaction. Similarly, some think that parents reared them so that “in old age we serve them.” The blessing of birth is down-graded by attributing unworthy motive to parents and invaluable service and concern given by them is put down as bargain for old age. They think there is nothing for which one needs to be grateful to parents for the motives were unworthy.
I am to be all grateful to parents for giving me birth, whatever be their motives. I am to be grateful to them for the good education and culture they have provided me. I must learn to appreciate their services with our reference to motives. The fact is that they have served me by giving birth to me and in providing physical, mental, moral and spiritual culture to me inspire of their expectations from me. These great things are not be down-graded by reference to motives. The value of great services received is to be appreciated without reference to motives.
It is not only the ungrateful child who belittles the service of birth, education and culture, but religions too do it. They declare parents’ service to be selfish in giving birth and providing education and culture to their children and thus belittle the parents’ services. religion needs to be appreciative of parents’ services to the community; even if they do it out of selfish motives. today, western society is short of children and children are mostly neglected in care and concern. Let us not take parents’ service for granted and be unappreciative.
Religion needs to be appreciative of them and not downgrade them as selfish. Parents love to serve their children and are anxious for their total welfare. LOVE IS NEVER SELFISH. IT MAY BE LIMITED IN OBJECTS OR OBJECTIVE.
If we dig motives for an action we can see no good even in great minds.’ Even great minds are not without weakness of acceptance, recognition, glorification and social immortality. But these great minds have built our civilisation, culture, sciences and art. they have given us light of understanding of truths, elements of the culture of compassion and justice in society. We cannot appreciate their great services if we dig their motivations.
Given the truth of the unconscious, we can never be sure that we do an act out of pure is-interestedness. As a moral psychologist, kant said who knows that one’s ‘little self’ does not play part in ones most exalted action of duty! Great action dazzles us by so much light that we forget about motives. But we are all the time downgrading fellow men by concentrating more on their motives than on the rightness of their action. It is better if we mitigate the unworthiness of motive by the rightness of an action.
Our lack of appreciation of others’ actions and life is due to our love of self. To appreciate another makes us take a chip off our ego-status. So it satisfies our ego to downgrade another’s action by attributing unworthy ego and motive of selfishness.
We need the virtue of MUDITA i.e, feeling of being happy at others’ excellence. This virtue opens a reservoir of happiness for the individual for their is so much excellence in others, even in our near and dear ones. We deny this vast reservoir of happiness by developing jealousy for the dear ones. We belittle their excellence by attributing unworthy motives.
We need to develop the culture of the feeling of Mudita to be sweet to others and full of joy for ourselves.